Culture Shock: An American Girl in Madrid

Celebrating my 31st birthday in Retiro Park.

​February 17, 2020 will mark five months in Spain. And I love it! I am thoroughly enjoying my experience and have adjusted well but I still experience mini culture shocks on a weekly, if not daily, basis. Here are just a few things that had (and still have) me shooketh.

Public Bathrooms (or Lack Thereof)
 
In the U.S., I hardly ever struggled to find a public bathroom. When natural called, there always seemed to be a restroom within walking distance willing to answer. Usually, the bathroom itself was clean and stocked with the basics such as paper toilet seat covers, toilet paper, hand soap, and paper towels or a hand dryer. And generally, the nicer the establishment, the swankier your squat experience.
 
Not. In. Spain.
 
I am still haunted by my first public toilet experience. Naïve and smitten by free tapas, I strolled into a public bathroom expecting to find what I normally did. But what I found had me clutching my pearls. I opened the stall to discover NO TOILET SEAT. At first, my mind goes to theft. Then I said self. And myself said, “hmm?” Who would steal a toilet seat? Then I had similar experiences over . . . and . . . over again. I still have no idea why there are no toilet seats. But it doesn’t stop there. I reached into the toilet paper holder but there was no toilet paper. Luckily, I keep wet wipes on deck. And of course, there were no paper toilet seat covers because there was no seat to cover! Upon leaving the seatless toilet, I discovered there was no hand soap. No paper towels. And the hand dryer blew air like somebody with severe asthma. It was a disaster. And I’ve learned to hold it.

Seasonal Attire
 
Spaniards dress according to the season, not the weather. When I arrived in September, it was still in the 90s daily. I wore a blazer to orientation and almost passed out. By October, it was still hot af. But as I looked around, I saw more and more people wearing coats. Not jackets. Actual mid-length winter coats with fur-lined hoods. I was sweaty and confused. Currently, spring is upon Madrid and we’ve experienced some lovely 60 degree days. But the winter coats are still holding steady. I expect they’ll be around until at least April. Stay tuned!

Mealtimes
 
By 12:00 pm, most American stomachs start to rumble. It’s lunchtime! But in Spain, noon is a weird culinary dead zone. It’s too late for coffee but too early for lunch. And most restaurant kitchens are closed. Similarly, by 6:00 p.m., those same liberty loving tummies are rumbling again. But you won’t find many restaurants serving dinner unless they’re touristy or gross. Needless to say, I had to adjust to Spanish mealtimes to avoid subpar food and starvation.
 
The first meal of the day is breakfast (desayuno) between 7:00 and 9:00 a.m. In general, Spaniards are not early birds, so finding anything open before 7 a.m. is difficult. A typical Spanish breakfast is a cup of coffee or hot chocolate with a toasted baguette and crushed tomatoes (pan con tomate), biscuits (aka cookies), croissants, or churros.
 
The second meal of the day is a mid-morning snack (almuerzo) around 10:30 or 11:00 a.m. It’s basically a second breakfast. Most people will enjoy another cup of coffee or freshly squeezed orange juice along with a pastry or sandwich. Personally, I like to enjoy a slice of pincho de tortilla, a potato omelet that speaks directly to my soul.  
 
The third meal of the day is lunch (la comida) from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m. Lunch is the largest and most important meal of the day. Most restaurants will have a Menu of the Day (Menú Del Día) available during lunch full of generous portions of traditional Spanish foods. The menu will include an appetizer, bread, entrée with side, dessert, and a drink (wine, beer, or soda) for an incredibly low price. These prices usually range between 10 and 14 euros. If visiting Spain, keep an eye out for menus of the day written on a chalkboard or handwritten on a piece of paper. That usually means that the meal is made with fresh, local, and seasonal ingredients.
 
The fourth meal of the day is a mid-afternoon snack (merienda) between 5:30 and 7:30 p.m. This snack is usually something sweet or a small sandwich with ham or chorizo. In the U.S., this is prime happy hour time. But in Spain, most people don’t drink any alcohol with their fourth meal.
 
The fifth and final meal is dinner between 9:00 and 11:00 p.m. Dinner is a much lighter meal than lunch. If eaten at home, it will consist of options such as soup, salad, charcuterie, or a small omelet. However, if headed to a tapas bar, the size and style will differ greatly. In Spain, there are many places that will offer free tapas with each beverage you purchase. In Madrid, free tapas are generally olives, potato chips, or croquetas. But made-to-order tapas can be anything from gambas al ajillo (shrimp cooked in olive oil and chili peppers) to patatas bravas (fried potatoes with a paprika sauce or aioli).

Greetings
 
Meeting someone for the first time in Spain? Get ready to deliver a kiss on both of their cheeks (dos besos). This is the standard, but intimate, greeting in Spain. Keep in mind though, this greeting does not involve actual kisses. Instead, it is simply grazing cheeks with the other person. And only when a woman is involved. Two women? Dos besos. One woman and one man? Dos besos. Two men? A handshake or hug. Patriarchy ruins the party again.
 
Beyond the kissing, you are expected to announce when you enter and leave a room. Take this example from my gynecologist’s office. Yep. The gyno. Couple walks into waiting room and both loudly say “HOLA, BUENAS TARDES (Hello, good afternoon).” Another woman picks up her items to leave the office and says “HASTA LUEGO (see you later)” upon her exit.  It’s customary to greet the entire room when you walk into a space and say goodbye when you leave. It even applies when entering and exiting elevators!

Birthdays
 
This one really messed me up. In the U.S., it’s customary, nay expected, that you won’t pay for anything on your birthday. But in Spain, you are expected to treat other people on your special day. For example, on my 31st birthday in November, two other teachers and I bought lunch for everyone to enjoy in the teacher’s lounge. One by one, people came up to us celebrating our birthdays, kissed our cheeks, and said thank you. Overall, if you invite someone to celebrate your birthday, you are expected to pay for those guests.